I stood at the middle of my drawing room, tears piercing the back of my eyes, threatening to tear my ego apart and come rolling down.Why did each goodbye have to be this haranguing? I mean, I've been saying a lot of goodbyes in the past year. The time to say goodbye comes even before I'm done basking in the glory of the 'Hello'. You see, I'm a toughie. You could say so, I guess. I'll cry my eyes out when reading a book, or at a movie, but never when I'm in a two-person situation. Crying when saying goodbye? It's sitting there, right next to impossible.
I saw him leave, inevitable, obviously. He stayed as long as he could, and then he couldn't, anymore. Everybody has his/her life's work and I understand that we need to keep doing it to keep our sanity. I have two choices from here on out : I can sit and cry after he leaves (which I briefly did) or I can grab a tissue and get on with my life's work. While I sit tight and wait for the tears to fall when I'm comfortable in my loneliness, I decide I'm going to take the separation positively. I swear to myself that I will resume working out, eat healthy, and watch the obscene number of films that I've been procrastinating to watch for the past year. Of course, I slip more times than I stand up. Instead of working out, I sit like a chimp and spoon clumps of processed cheese into my mouth. Instead of watching the new, un-watched films, I do a rerun of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and laugh hysterically, and watch The Fault in Our Stars, and cry like Augustus Waters was my boyfriend. But, this too will pass. It'll be morning again tomorrow, and I think I'll do the twenty prescribed Suryanamaskars. When I'm done however, I'll drink some water, eat some cheese and watch those films.
Goodbyes are pathetic. Hearing them, and not hearing them are equally unpleasant. The worst thing is to not deal with the reality, and that is this: "What goes around comes around". There will always be, repeat after me, a better time.
I saw him leave, inevitable, obviously. He stayed as long as he could, and then he couldn't, anymore. Everybody has his/her life's work and I understand that we need to keep doing it to keep our sanity. I have two choices from here on out : I can sit and cry after he leaves (which I briefly did) or I can grab a tissue and get on with my life's work. While I sit tight and wait for the tears to fall when I'm comfortable in my loneliness, I decide I'm going to take the separation positively. I swear to myself that I will resume working out, eat healthy, and watch the obscene number of films that I've been procrastinating to watch for the past year. Of course, I slip more times than I stand up. Instead of working out, I sit like a chimp and spoon clumps of processed cheese into my mouth. Instead of watching the new, un-watched films, I do a rerun of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and laugh hysterically, and watch The Fault in Our Stars, and cry like Augustus Waters was my boyfriend. But, this too will pass. It'll be morning again tomorrow, and I think I'll do the twenty prescribed Suryanamaskars. When I'm done however, I'll drink some water, eat some cheese and watch those films.
Goodbyes are pathetic. Hearing them, and not hearing them are equally unpleasant. The worst thing is to not deal with the reality, and that is this: "What goes around comes around". There will always be, repeat after me, a better time.
Truly Good Byes are terribly pathetic, its a coincidence that I faced one today,with no other choice I was bound to accept it for the relief of that other person, yes it is true that life is unfair, but an early goodbye much before a proper interaction hurts, & something we dont want to overcome (not me atleast) , what hurts the most is that post realization, "we didnt give it a try" there is a fresh wound inside me, its a dilemma of it own sort, where pushing any more would only produce discomfort & guilt, where backing off will only result in regrets & disappointment and where waiting seems to be the only good yet most difficult alternate. This might perhaps not be "our time" but do remember the whole universe conspired to help me find you, better times are surely coming..
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